My heart belongs to a British television network, and I think I'm addicted to caffeine.
I wish there was a codeword for “you sprung that plan on me too last-minute and I didn’t have enough time to mentally prepare myself” because I feel kinda bad when someone spontaneously invites me to do something and I’m just like no no no no I need wARNING I have to have enough time to build up my social energyI feel this in every fiber of my being.
ya know that kid whos at the arcade and is just watching the demo for a game but they’re pressing the buttons like they’re playing?? well that’s how i’m handling adulthood so far
WHY THE FUCK ARE MOSQUITOS EVEN ON THE PLANET THEY HAVE NO SIGNIFICANCE THEY’RE BASICALLY KEVIN JONAS
HOLD IT, HOLD EVERYTHING! Earth is a protected wildlife reserve. Yeah, we’ve been using it to rebuild the mosquito population, which, need I remind you, IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE MOSQUITOS, YOUR PLANET WOULD HAVE BEEN DESTROYED AGES AGO.
Someone waited their whole life to make this joke